Sunday, April 13, 2008


It’s Saturday night. You spent all day getting your hair, nails, and outfit together to shine your radiance during a night on the town. You look good, smell good. You’re on a mission to find that strong, hard-working, loyal, assertive Adonis a woman of your stature deserves. You do your part and arrive looking like nothing less than an Ebony Fashion Fair runway model. You go to work quickly and scout the talent and strategically place yourself just on his radar.

There he is…your Black Adonis: Blue pinstripe suit, polished Donald Pliner loafers, muscular frame, beautiful smile, initialed cufflinks, and largest hands you’ve ever seen holding Crown Royal and the keys to your heart. You start the dance by making soft eye contact, slightly parting your thick, full lips, and arching your back and positioning every part of your body in his direction. He dances back, smiling with direct eye contact, obviously studying the pretty feet framed within a very strong shoe game up to your neck line that showcase complimentary accessories fir for Nubian royalty. He takes a purposeful sip of cognac and smoothly slides his keys into his pants to hide his carnal attraction for you.

At the height of the airy electricity, IT happens again…some dummy with no style ask for your number. “Not again”, you think. You spent all your energy on MR. RIGHT just to be approached by an undesirable shadow of the man you want and deserve. Before you know it MR. RIGHT is gone or has the attention of another woman-and not even one of your caliber. “Great”, you think. Ultimately, you go home feeling more disappointed than when you arrived because you tasted electricity, chemistry, and adventure but didn’t have the opportunity to seal the deal to enjoy your Mandingo treat later on. The WRONG GUY ruined it for you again!

Why allow this to happen to you ever again?

It doesn’t have to if you are willing to infuse some modern day rule changes for dating. Yes, it’s unconventional but gets results every time.

Ladies, I propose the end of waiting for MR. RIGHT to approach you. Instead, take a position that affords you full control and eliminates the distractions and unwelcome suitors that are sure to spoil your pursuit of happiness and chocolate fulfillment. Put that model strut to work and do what a Black woman is supposed to…with all the elegance, beauty, and supreme attraction power of Queen Cleopatra herself, introduce yourself as his date for the next few minutes. Flash that millionaire smile, use your feminine wilds, and charm his socks off.
Trust me, he’ll be pursuing you one minute in the conversation. If you play your cards right, you’ll convey a message of, “A queen is interested in you, pursuing accordingly.” Remember, no negative thoughts, opting instead for projecting only confidence and Diva-licious attitude that brings all men to their collective knees.

I wish a God fearing, beautiful, mocha-colored sister with nice full lips, curvaceous hips, soft hands, and a unquenched desire to love, support, and spoil a do right man would approach me. I can promise that she would be in rare air because all of my attention would be focused on her. So, my chocolate queens, go claim your prize. Next weekend, you’ll be telling your girlfriends that you’re staying in again because Mr. Pinstripe will be serving up enough stimulating conversation, humor, and spine-tingling [you-fill-in-the-blank] that you won’t even think about the club again!

Dr. Tartt is a motivational speaker, author of the soon to be released relationship survival guide, THE RING FORMULA: How to Marry MR. RIGHT, and positive psychologist. For more information about Dr. Tartt please visit his website at