Black Barbies Come Out – What do you think?

Grace, Kara and Trichelle were created to fill a void for young black girls who for so long have been playing with dolls that don't look like them.

Stacy McBride-Irby, creator of the new Barbie, poses with the dolls.

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The new black Barbies released by Mattel have fuller lips, curlier hair and other features that the company says more accurately represent African-American women.

Some have cheered the new dolls. Others jeered them, saying they're not black enough.

"I love the black Barbie. It's about time," Jua Simpson said on CNN's iReport, a user-generated news community. "But the hair is still a step backwards, since most of our hair is not straight and light brown."

Others disagree with critics who say the dolls should have had more natural black hairstyles, such as afros or braids.

"Many people have criticized the dolls for either having hair that's too long or too straight, but I have long, straight hair that I straightened. But it's my hair and a part of me," said Tanisa Zoe Samuel, an African-American iReporter from the Turks and Caicos, in the Caribbean. "Black women come in all shades, shapes and varieties that there is just no way to capture everyone with three dolls." iReport.com: Samuel shares her thoughts on the new Barbie

The dolls were created by Stacy McBride-Irby, an African-American who watched her daughter play with dolls and wanted to create a doll that looked more like her.

 

Click to read.

What Wrong With Black Love

by Dr. Boyce Watkins
http://www.boycewatkins.com/

People sometimes wonder why I don't talk much about my love life. Well, beyond the fact that it would probably bore you, I'll admit that there are some tricky and sensitive issues that might come up. But in case you're wondering, I am not single because I am gay (not that there is something wrong with gay people, I'm just not one of them). I am not married because I take marriage very seriously and realized that my work in the black community would put a family in harm's way. I never thought that Malcolm or Martin should have gotten married either, since I'd never forgive myself if my wife and children were killed or left homeless because of something I've done. The first thing your enemies do when they want to undermine you is to go after your family and/or your source of income. Just ask Bill O'Reilly.

At any rate, I have some friends who are still single, and I listen to them explain why they can't find what they are looking for. For some, it's the "blame the world" strategy - "Black men can't handle an intelligent black woman", or "I'm just too nice and men are dogs"....blah blah blah. On the flip side, I've heard Black men say things about Black women that are simply untrue. Personally, I have no trouble finding great Black women, especially when I learned to look at the spirit and mind along with the body and face. I know many gorgeous women who might have stunned me 10 years ago, but wouldn't get the time of day from me now.

One thing that some of us are missing is the kind of introspection necessary to realize that YOU are the only person who is always present in your relationships. I have a friend who is a drop dead gorgeous college professor and fully convinced that it's never her fault that her relationships are falling apart. All the while, I've seen that same friend walk toward the jerks and away from the guys who might treat her with respect. At the end of the day, she will always be confused, because she only chooses to give her love to those who deserve it the least.

This journey of learning to love yourself enough to know how to give love and receive it properly is a long one. I've personally traveled much of that journey myself. Although I didn't marry my ex-fiance, I was proud of that relationship. The great time we spent together was a reflection of how I'd grown to be able to give the right kind of love and also demand the right kind of love in return. She strengthened my belief in God, for I truly saw her as an angel on earth.

Like most of you, I have experienced the ups and downs of relationships (ho-hum), and all the bliss and pain that comes with it. I've dealt with baby-mama drama, as the one great mistake I made in life was to have a child at a young age with the wrong person. I will pay for that mistake for the rest of my life, although I worked like hell to try to fix it. I fight for father's rights because unlike the confusing speech given by Barack Obama this year on Father's Day, I unconditionally reject the idea that Black relationships don't work solely because Black men are irresponsible buffoons who don't want to be good parents. I tried like hell to be in my own daughter's life, even though I was consistently rejected from it, and I've gotten emails from hundreds of other fathers who feel the same way. At the end of the day, relationships last when both partners make it work, and children are healthiest when both parents understand the importance of having both the mother and the father in the life of the child. You can't blame the opposite sex for everything. That goes for both men and women....no matter how bitter you may be.

Finally, I believe in black love, and I consider black women to be the most beautiful women on the planet. So, if you ever hear of me getting married, it will most likely be to a Black woman. But if you were to ask me about the breakdown of the black family and black relationships, I would say that it takes two to tango. If your relationships are not working out, relieving yourself of all blame is not only going to confuse you, it is also incredibly irresponsible.

At any rate, the article is below...enjoy!

He's not dumping you because ...

Writing about dating is my full-time job, so, naturally, I hear a lot of pretty deranged tales of love gone wrong. But last week I received a letter from a woman who was convinced that men wouldn’t go out with her because she was just too … beautiful.

He's not dumping you because ...

She fully believed her breathtaking attractiveness was anything but a man-magnet — as one might expect. Instead, she said, her beauty acted as a Romeo-repellant, causing suitors to run screaming from her. Obviously, I explained the situation to her (perhaps it wasn’t her gorgeous outsides, but her narcissistic insides that were doing the damage), but it did get me to thinking about all the other ridiculous reasons that women — myself included — come up with when they get dumped.

Along with being too beautiful, here are a few other qualities I guarantee nobody will ever break your heart over:Too smart: I once had a friend who was convinced she couldn’t keep a boyfriend because she was too smart for the male population. She was positive her staggering intellect was turning them off. Uh, no. What drove the men away (and most of her female friends, as well) was the fact that she was mean. We’re talking stupendously cruel. Her definition of smart translated into cutting people down until they felt like the smallest person on earth. Not exactly a turn-on, no matter how cleverly it’s worded.Click to read.

YourBlackLove: What is Considered Beautiful In A Changing World?

By Chiderah A. Monde

Why is it that both Angelina Jolie and Halle Berry are widely considered beautiful women, no matter what race you are, no matter what gender?

With a constantly changing world, comes a constantly changing perception of beauty. Over the years society has changed its description of what is considered the physically “ideal” or “perfect” woman. No longer does the blond bombshell grace the covers of every magazine, nor does the deathly skinny frame or pale skin.

The 21st century demanded a change, for it’s “ideal” woman, and now she has curves, dark hair, and most importantly- darker skin.

Society’s perfect woman is not necessarily Black, although everyone agrees that Beyonce, Halle Berry, Alicia Keys and Janet Jackson top a lot of lists. But darker skin is definitely in- whether it is tanned white women, foreign femmes, or mixed beauties, women like Jessica Alba, Angelina Jolie, Aishwarya Rai, Adrianna Lima and Jessica Biel have taken the place of the blond bombshell era.

There’s no question about curves being in demand too. Beyonce is the epitome of the ideal curves for a Black woman, so is Alicia Keys, and quite frankly- so is Kim Kardashian. Men agree that body and curves are sexier, and women feel more comfortable with their bodies being similar shapes to celebrity women.

The interesting thing about the changing perception of beauty is how we can all agree that these women and physical features are considered acceptable. Psychologists argue that an individual’s perception of what is considered attractive is dependent on the person’s parents. That is, we base what is beautiful on what our mothers look like, what our fathers think, and what they both teach us to be beautiful. On the other scholarly hand, some consider attraction to be dependent on symmetry. That is, anything that is symmetrical is aesthetically pleasing. Once something seems out of line, out of sync, or asymmetrical, it is not attractive.

I don’t know how I feel about all of that.

Whether it’s psychology or symmetry that determines what is beautiful, it is all amplified by society and by media. Everything we buy, wear, eat and do is reflection of what some part of society has suggested we should. And “should” is an iffy word…

Nevertheless, we might be moving in an optimistic direction. If curves, dark hair and dark skin is currently in, society is setting an example for accepting a variety of body types. With things like Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty and Maxim’s 2008 Hot 100, the days of having only one perfect woman are long gone.

Oprah Winfrey Advises Jamie Foxx on How to Act Right

Comedic actor Jamie Foxx has credited talk show host Oprah Winfrey with refining his rough exterior.

Foxx debuted his new MTV show From G's to Gents in America earlier this week in an effort to teach socially-challenged men how to perfect their modern-day etiquette. And he insists it was Winfrey who whipped him into shape before he became an Oscar winner.

Black Love: Lauren London's Comments Reflect Problems with Black Women

To say that the recent statements of 'Actress', Lauren London - in a "King Magazine" interview - is disquieting, is both an underestimation and misunderstanding of the potency attached to the wordage of certain celebrities within our community. Young Black Women are continuously lusting after the aptly-described "ruffnecks" and "thugged-out" brothers within our culture. It was in 1993, when MC Lyte, rapped - on a song called "Ruffneck," from the album, "Aint No Other" - "I need a ruffneck/I need a dude with attitude/Who only needs his fingers with his food/Karl Kani saggin' timbos draggin'/Frontin' in his ride with his home boys braggin'/Lying 'bout the Lyte how he knocked boots last night/But he's a ruffneck so that's alright." At the time, such allusions were looked upon as little other than artistic-expression, but with the rise in domestic-abuse among black households, such sentiments are beginning to lead to open clues vis-à-vis black-female misjudment. It is an ancient blurb that the good guy always finishes last, but Miss London seemed to put the L in Ludicrous with her recent morally-reprehensible comments. When asked by the interviewer of her choice in men, she replied:

"An authentic gangsta—that deletes about half the rap game off your list. I love guys who are street. I won’t even give soft guys a chance. Menace II Society is my shit! Caine was like my first crush. Actually, O-Dog was my true dream guy. I was in love with him, from that opening scene where he pops the convenience-store worker. He had me from that gunshot [laughs]. He was ’hood, and I loved that."

- With such statements, it is no wonder our culture is dissipating faster than the dreams of 'authentic' actresses who are more than qualified, but are turned around as a result of their stead-fast belief in integrity. That therefore 'deletes' Ms. London off any such list.

"We Like Black D***, Just Not Black Men"

Let’s be honest- who wouldn’t want a Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Denzel Washington, or Taye Diggs type of man?


As black women, we’ve watched our brothers be romantically involved with white women for as long as we’ve been in this country. Just when we thought we were accepting it, Asian and Hispanic women picked up on the trend, and Black men started to choose them first. In a day and age where interracial dating is more or less accepted, we have to redirect our anger.

Now, black women are upset because we’ve taken home the bronze medal in comparison to the other races that seek out Black men. For the most part, young Black men are not choosing their Black women, while everyone else is choosing the brothers.

First, look at the music videos you see on BET, MTV or anything else. No longer are “video girls” really black. Hispanic and mixed women seem to be getting closer and closer to the camera. The Vida Guerra’s of the world have taken the front seat, and more brothers want long REAL hair, fair skin and another language to go along with the urban style.

Some people say Black and Hispanics are one in the same, and although we share the same ancestry, I think to put us in the same boat is to ignore the many differences that the two have, especially historically and politically (for the most part, Hispanics picked Hillary over Barack. Does that say anything significant? I think so.)

Next, let’s look at white women- from whom I got the title of this article. It’s not the preferred conversation to overhear during a study break snack, but that statement is exactly what my girls and I heard one day while sitting in the student center on our college campus.

“ Oh my god, I hooked up with a black guy last night…no, I don’t like black men, but I do like black d***!”

…Was this girl serious?

It just goes to show that the physical attraction is- in some cases- the only reason why these unions happen. Okay brothers, I’ll give you that. Some men enjoy having gorgeous exotic looking women of different backgrounds and ethnicities to trophy around with…but ask yourselves, are your parents going to approve of your relationship?

Maybe so, but what about her parents? Are they really as open-minded as she is? The truth is, not all parents are as accepting and open minded as their children.

Do not misinterpret what I’m saying, I do have a lot of white, Asian and Hispanic female friends who date Black men. They are girls with good heads on their shoulders, who are usually friendly, more reserved, smart and very genuine. They have no problem being my friend, and I have no problem being theirs.

It may just be from what I’ve seen around my campus, but the other-race girls who only go after Black men for their well-endowed features, are the ones who do not take the time to befriend black women.

Those girls stick to their own "kind". They’d rather say the curiosity about the physical pleasure was the reason they did it. Those are the kind of girls I overheard saying the above statement.

Brothers, let’s not take this completely as a compliment. You should be offended by such a blatant proclamation. What does this say about you? ”I don’t like black men” means I don’t like black people, and “I just like black d***” means I don’t see you for who you are.

I’ve dated white men, Hispanic men, and even an Asian once. But ultimately and collectively, they don’t want black women either. Of course there are some exceptions to this, one of my best white male friends only dates black women.

Who you choose to date is completely up to you. This article isn’t about that- it is about the reality of human attraction. It is about why Black women in general are becoming the least desired women of all.

We’re too strong-minded, independent, practical, and unadventurous. We argue too much. We work too much. We’re not as fair skinned or pleasing to look at. We like to dress down more than dress up. We’re not always creative in bed. Our hair doesn’t always blow in the wind, and isn’t always our own. We talk too much. We don’t give oral pleasure (says who?), we don’t want to cook every day (actually I love to cook), and we won’t stay with you after you cheat on us (yea, maybe not).

But if that’s why you’d rather not have us, then by all means, as Tyler Perry would say, have your 20%.

Bill Clinton's Alleged Love Child: The British Press is Pushing the issue

The British Press has continued its investigation into Clinton's affair with the black Little Rock prostitute Bobby Ann Williams. London Daily Mail columnist James Dalrymple, wrote on Jan. 14, 1997, that Bobby Ann Williams and her sister Lucille Bolton passed two lie detector tests proclaiming that Clinton is the father of her illegitimate son Danny. Arkansas State Trooper Buddy Young states that in 1983, he drove Clinton and the black women to his mother's home near Hot Springs for a sex orgy. Clinton's mother was conveniently out-of-town. In 1984 Bobby Ann had a baby boy she named Danny. He looks exactly like Clinton. He has refused to take a blood test to confirm or deny the allegation.

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Black Women Deserve to Marry.... BUT

You Better Learn How to Cook!

Black women desire to marry. Black women date frequently to find a husband. So, why are so many beautifully talented and available sisters still single? I took it upon myself to ask that very question while conducting research for my new book, The Ring Formula: How to Marry MR. RIGHT (available everywhere and http://www.drtartt.com/). What I discovered, quite frankly, was not what I expected.

I assumed that many women would list that they were too busy, disconnected from eligible Black bachelors, or the supply of MR. RIGHTS was too low. However, I discovered something that blew my mind but later made a lot of sense: A lot of Black women have never been taught how to court and date men towards marriage. In fact, many laughed when the idea was posed and indicated that they thought it was the man’s sole responsibility to do all the courting. When I posed the following question they changed their mind: “What’s in it for the man to stop dating multiple women Why you and only you.” At that point it became clear that my sisters needed some insight on exactly what makes men contemplate marriage.

In this article, I’ll cover the first point….

# 1- LEARN HOW TO COOK

Cooking to nourish your man is step number one in developing your own Ring Formula towards marriage. Most healthy men have a very positive relationship with their mothers. This relationship was born and cultivated based on mom’s ability to feed, care, and love her son. As a result, sons are fiercely loyal to mom and will do anything she asks for as long as they live. Mom will always hold the position of “first lady” in every man’s heart.

Well, if mom is the first lady then the wife needs to be the “last lady” and follow suit with nourishing her man. For clarity, cooking is not about being your man’s maid or personal cook. It’s about taking the primary roll in nourishing his mind, body, ego and soul better than any other woman can. When you pick out the freshest, plumpest, and all-natural fruits and vegetables and then season, simmer, and stir with your man in mind; you are in rare air! After all, where is a man going to find that type of loving outside of his mom’s or grandmother’s house? Cook with love and your man will begin to compare you to the first lady herself. Once you get mentioned in the company of royalty you are well on your way to marriage.

Try this…Wake up early and prepare your man a healthy power breakfast or dinner before his big meeting. Stroke his ego and let him know that you are his number one cheerleader regardless of outcome. If he gets the promotion, cook a great meal and celebrate. If he fails to get the promotion, cook an even bigger meal and tell him, “You are still my King, everything happens in time.” Trust me ladies, any man who doesn’t appreciate that is a FOOL and not worth your love! The good brothers who desire to settle down, however, will give you high marks and start to pare down their list of female associates. Too much celebrating at this point would be premature because you’ll still need some additional formulas to secure that ring. However, it’s OK for you to peruse your favorite wedding magazine and practice throwing that rice while you’re preparing his next meal.

Tune in next week for Step 2 of The Ring Formula: How to Marry MR. RIGHT…Get the Gorillas Out Of Your Closet (How insecurities make your man insecure about you). Advanced copies of the Ring Formula can be secured at http://www.drtartt.com/.

Dr. Tartt- The Professional Dating DR- http://www.drtartt.com/

Karrine Steffans: Superhead - Is this Black Love or Black Prostitution?

Here is an interview with Karrine "Superhead" Steffans. Karrine has been the subject of controversy lately, after there were reports that her relationship is on the rocks due to physical abuse. She was also featured on the Wendy Williams Experience, with Wendy telling Karrine that she will never be able to find real love because she is known as "Superhead".

Given that Karrine really doesn't do much of anything that millions of other women don't already do, does that make her a dirty woman or a woman who is simply liberated with her sexuality? Perhaps the fact that Karrine, who is known (to be honest) as a "superhoe" respects herself as a great mother, good cook and wonderful lover, perhaps this implies that we are the ones who are rigid and need to rethink our perception of sexuality.

I am not sure how to process all of this, but I can say that given that there are a lot of superheads who let it loose behind closed doors, perhaps we should not just Karrine as harshly as we have in the past. At the very least, even a woman named "Superhead" doesn't deserve to be beaten by her boyfriend.

Here is a video....you be the judge:

The Art of Financial Lovemaking

By Dr. Boyce Watkins
www.FinancialLovemaking.net

People fall in love every day. Some fall in love forever, and some just love the idea of falling in love. We are all familiar with the bliss and agony of love, and our mating, dating and procreating choices define much of the quality of our earthly existence.

But many of us love in all the wrong ways and make short-term choices with serious lifelong consequences. For long-term relationships, reality eventually sets in, and we learn that LOVING together means LIVING together. The thrill you once got from a long, seductive kiss is replaced by the excitement of a good home appraisal or bank account increase. Financial insecurity and emotional insecurity become one and the same, as we find there is a strong correlation between financial deception and emotional betrayal. A big part of living is MONEY. According to a study by the Council of Relationships, money is the number one reason for divorce. This alarming reality is a strong reminder that not discussing the financial and practical dimensions of your relationship can cause you a lifetime of misery.

Some consider it taboo to discuss love and money in the same sentence. I consider it ESSENTIAL. While we might mull all day over a potential mate’s emotional compatibility, sexual compatibility, professional compatibility and spiritual compatibility, most of us don’t spend one second thinking about financial compatibility. Many couples step into serious relationships and marriage without knowing their partner’s income levels, debt levels, credit score, retirement savings, or any of the other significant pieces of information that are going to have a dramatic effect on their love life. Merging your life with a financially irresponsible person is like putting your children into a car with a drunk driver. Once you are in the car, your fates are inextricably linked.

Money plays a huge role in our quality of life, emotional well-being, ability to raise our children properly or ability to spend time together. Money can either be a tool to enhance your love or a weapon to destroy it. Many people have seen their love and relationships ruined by financial problems, financial deception or financial exploitation. How we manage, confront and conceptualize the power of money plays a huge role in how our relationships evolve. That is what Financial Lovemaking is all about.

You think money doesn’t matter in a relationship? Well, here is just a small list of ways that someone could ruin your life financially:

• A partner with horrible credit could keep you from ever getting loan.
• A partner with terrible spending habits can ruin a family’s financial security.
• A partner with a substance abuse or other costly addiction could deplete a family’s assets.
• A partner with unhealthy connections to deadbeat relatives, who always need money, may drain your assets.
• A partner with an income that is too low due to a lack of education or poor professional choices could ruin you financially.
• A partner may steal money from you or borrow it without your permission and use it for something frivolous (i.e. a bad business investment, gambling, etc.)
• A partner who makes bad financial choices may get you into trouble with the IRS.
• A partner who decides to separate from you may end up dragging you and your money through a long and costly legal battle.

I just gave you the short list of ways that money directly impacts your love life. I am sure you can think of experiences you’ve had or those of your friends. In fact, I encourage you to visit our Financial Lovemaking blog to share your personal story on how love and money have impacted your life.

I am not here there to say there’s nothing going on but the rent. However, I can say that nothing else goes on if the rent is not being paid. So, good Financial Lovemaking is necessary for good love. Don’t forget that.

Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Finance Professor at Syracuse University and author of “Financial Lovemaking 101: Merging Assets with Your Partner in Ways that Feel Good.” He does regular commentary in national media, including CNN, NBC, CBS, MSNBC and BET. For more information, please visit www.FinancialLovemaking.net.