What would you do if the love of your life up and left you days before your wedding? Well, you couldsue his butt off.
Dominique Buttitta, a lawyer in Chicago, is taking her ice-footed former fiancé to court for bailing on their big dayjust four days before the ceremony was supposed to go down. The jilted bride claims that by calling it quits, the groom "intentionally inflicted emotional distress" on her. She's reportedly seeking more than $95,000 from her ex -- money, she says, that she'd already spent on the wedding.
I think she may have a case, and not just because people sue for less than this every day. I've had neighbors sue other neighbors when their dog crapped on the lawn. Buttitta's fiance crapped on her life. Not only is she now being portrayed as a bitter, spurned woman, she's in the hole for a whole lot of zeros.
Planning a wedding is a big, long, intricate process. I know; I'm in the middle of planning mine. Pick up any issue of "The Knot" and they'll tell you: planning a wedding takes about nine months to a year. And those are a packed nine to 12 months of making lists, touring venues, tasting cakes and spending thousands of dollars in nonrefundable deposits. There's the dress, the rings, flowers -- Buttitta says she spent over $12,500 on those -- invitations, escort cards and a ton of other things that take up a whole lot of time and even more of your money. It's ridiculous.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
From AOL - Should You Be able to Sue Someone for Dumping You At the Alter?
Friday, December 3, 2010
Black Love Gone Bad: Antoine Walker Sued for Taking another Man’s Finacee
by Dr. Boyce Watkins, Syracuse University – Scholarship in Action
Former NBA star Antoine Walker is being sued for $5 million dollars by a man who claims that Walker stole his fiancee. Kevin Jenkins says that he caught Walker and his fiancee in an "intimate moment," and confronted Walker about it. He said that Walker laughed in his face to deliberately cause him emotional distress.
Jenkins then says that he became so emotionally distressed that he thought about killing himself.
To date, I haven't heard of anyone being sued for cheating with another person's fiancee. However, I do know that in some states, you can be sued for cheating with someone else's spouse. These "alienation of affection" lawsuits are legal in several states: Hawaii, Illinois, Mississippi, New Mexico, North Carolina, South Dakota and Utah.
Visit Your Black World for more black news!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Facebook Pastor Had Marital Affair with Male Assistant
by Dr. Boyce Watkins, Syracuse University - Scholarship in Action
Apparently, the words "thou shall not use Facebook" don't quite trump the words "thou shall not have a three-way sexual relationship with your wife and a male assistant." The Rev. Cedric Miller became a national name last week after demanding that his entire New Jersey congregation delete their Facebook pages. The move was thought to be an incredibly bold statement about the impact that Facebook has on relationships, where old boyfriends/girlfriends never quite go away.
To the surprise of many, it turns out that Rev. Miller may have his own reasons for wanting Facebook out of his life. There are reports that the pastor had a three-way sexual relationship with his wife and a male assistant at the church. Rev. Miller, who heads the Living Word Christian Fellowship Church in Neptune Township, New Jersey, confirmed the information, which had been printed in a local newspaper.
The 48-year old pastor also demanded that all 50 of his married church officials delete their Facebook pages or quit their leadership posts. He told married members of his church to share their login information with their spouses. He said that he plans to leave Facebook this week himself.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Who Is Necole Bitchie? Let Her Tell You
Necole Bitchie is a much loved urban media maven who came onto the blogging scene in 2007, and has remained a major player in the field ever since. Her eponymous blog,NecoleBitchie.com is one of the most popular Web destinations for discussing celebrity dish, offering a fresh voice and unique perspective on African American stars. How did Necole Bitchie make such a profound impact in such a short time in a crowded field? She shares the amazing business insights -- and a few celebrity finance secrets -- that have contributed to her stellar success. Here's what Necole told BV on Money:
What is your name and what do you do?
My name is Necole Bitchie and I am the voice behind the celebrity entertainment blogsite NecoleBitchie.com.
What are some of the misperceptions people have about celebrities and their money?
Monday, November 8, 2010
Madam Prezident: For Colored Girls – Leave, but Don’t Take Me With You
I met someone whom I dearly adored
Enough to even DIE for
One day I was in class and I was packed in his bags
I thought, Leave, but don’t take me with you
His bags and I was at the door
They were reconnecting
And his heart was departing
Leaving.
He had left once before
But his voyage was short
And of course, because of his actions I straightened up my act
As if I was out of order
I strived to be perfect for him
But my perfection could not be accounted for because I was worthless to him
But, I didn’t care
I was an empty glass
In the hands
Of an alcoholic
And
Anything he poured inside me my spirit obliged
His bags and I was at the door
I reminded him of his promises
“You said you loved me”
“Don’t deceive me, don’t leave me”.
I laid in his lies
Gave him my heart for free
I was worst than a prostitute
“At least she got paid for it”
She created revenue with her assets
Although it wasn’t much
She was bringing in much more than me
My moral less nights of feel good
Didn’t feel good the morning after
I’d given him everything I had inside me
Around me, under me, above me, beside me, and behind me
I’d given him much more than I had received
How could he move on?
How was I supposed to stand, without this man?
What about OUR plans?
His bags and I was at the door
My lungs in one bag
My brain in one bag
My kidneys in one bag
My ovaries in one bag
My eyes in one bag
My legs in one bag
And my heart in the garbage
I was ripped apart
And broken into pieces inside his bags
Ripped into pieces
He was leaving and taking me with him
But I was at the door whole heartedly, in his bags
He had been gone
Way long
Before he decided to pack
How can I live with that?
He was stronger than any STD
Damaging my insides so ghastly
That it cost me
Never will I conceive a child
With a smile
Because of the burdens he positioned inside me
He was leaving and I was going along with him
Until GOD came along
And let his Presence be known
I was confused about where I came from
Until “my father” showed me ‘WHOM’ I came from
My life was shattered
My mind was battered
But GOD recued me
And from BONDAGE I became free
The company of misery
No longer accompanied me
The MAN that Created Adam
Also created me
I was once at the door packed in bags
Until GOD illustrated to me “All that I had”
And him who once had my heart
Wasn’t even the best part
I was once at the door packed in bags
Screaming “leave, but please don’t take me with you”
I was glad at the day
That I could say
“Leave but you CAN’T take me with you”
I too, have found someone else
And his name is
GOD!!!!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
For Colored Girls is Not For Black Men….At All
by Dr. Boyce Watkins, Syracuse University – Scholarship in Action
I went to see "For Colored Girls," the exciting new film made by the great Tyler Perry. I love Tyler's work, most of the time, and I've defended him on multiple occasions when he's come under attack for the nature of his films. Spike Lee is one particular Tyler Perry hater that I've taken issue with, primarily because I think that Tyler does more good than harm in the industry.
But as much as we love Tyler Perry, all voices must be portrayed when responding to his style of film making. My own voice became amplified after seeing "For Colored Girls," primarily because the film made me damn near embarrassed to be a black male. Let's go down the list shall we? The black men in the film consisted of a rapist, a thief, an abuser who murdered his own kids, a pimp, and a brother on the down low. Now, Hill Harper had the distinct honor of being the knight in shining armor, but he was the only ray of goodness in the terrible rainbow that represents the experience of the black woman in America.
I wonder what I would think if I were a non-black person watching this film to get a sense of what happens in the African American community. Well, first I'd conclude that most black women are well-balanced, fair and emotionally giving to men who simply don't deserve it. I would then think that a small percentage of black men have the capacity to do good things, but that most of them will steal from you, deceive you, rape you, cheat on you and do all they can to provide irreversible and unthinkable pain to those who love them the most. I can just hear one of the white women in the theater saying, "Those poor black women. Why in the world do they remain loyal to those horrible men?"
Friday, October 29, 2010
Is a “Ghetto Fab” Wig Racist?
Written by Dorian Chandler
With Halloween approaching Kohl’s department store rolled our their latest available costumes and wigs. What the hell where they thinking when they decided to roll out this hot ghetto mess entitled “Ghetto Fab Wig.” Kohl’s claims you can “dance the night away in this disco inspired Afro style wig.
Really Kohl’s?
Your wig inspiration came from disco and Afro styles but instead of calling it that you decided to call it “Ghetto Fab?” I’m confused Kohl’s. Can you clarify how this ghetto fab wig got past your production and PC lines? Does Kohl’s consider themselves experts in what’s deemed “Ghetto” Fab a.k.a Black Fab? Oddly enough the model shown wearing the “ghetto fab” wig doesn’t look ghetto or black for that matter (what constitutes “ghettoness” anyway?)
Did Kohl’s one size fits all mantra get them in over their heads?
UPDATE: Kohl’s via twitter was swift to respond to the matter and apologize to each an every person that tweeted them (see below). They did as they said and removed the offensive language and the product as a whole from their site.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
CDC: 1 in 22 African Americans Will be Infected by HIV
by Dr. Boyce Watkins, Syracuse University – Scholarship in Action
More “good” news from the Center for Disease Control: African Americans have a 1-in-22 chance of catching HIV in their lifetimes. This is eight times the rate for white Americans. Of course the numbers are no surprise, given that HIV is already spreading quite rapidly through our community. This confirmation from the CDC is simply another depressing reminder of the risks of irresponsible sex.
Obviously, sex is as natural as breathing, given that it’s the reason we even exist in the first place. But the power of sex must also be respected, and some of us grow up in a culture where casual sex is considered the norm and the pursuit of good sex is worthy of being a lifelong endeavor. While I am certainly not here to judge, perhaps we should consider a few thoughts:
Thursday, October 7, 2010
8 Reasons Why Some Brothers Might Date White Women
by Dr. Boyce Watkins, Syracuse University
First, I’ll start this article by saying, “just kidding.” I have immense loyalty to black women, and that’s all I’ve ever dated in my adult life. But after reading the article “8 Reasons to date a white man,” I just had to respond for the brothers. We know white men are just as imperfect as the rest of us. But the idea that the author decided to put white males on a pedestal above black men without considering the challenges of being black in America had me fuming. So, here are some reasons that those brothers who date white women might have decided to do so:
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Black Woman Gives 8 Reasons to Date a White man
by LaShaun Williams
Stay tuned for more topics, comment or write us at editors@madamenoire.com if you have suggestions!
I am married to a Black man—dark-skinned, 100 percent cocoa. To me, there is nothing more physically beautiful on this earth. Notice I said physically. Outside of that, there are plenty of more financially, intellectually and emotionally stable options. It’s time to taste the unknown. There are just too many—too many bright and beautiful single Black women waiting for their Black prince charming, only to see more and more of them riding off with their porcelain-skinned beauties.
My question is what are you waiting for—a baby and no ring? Black men are obviously seeing a lot in others they like. As an open-minded woman, I can tell you from experience some things about white are right. In no particular order, here are the reasons you should be giving vanilla a chance.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Cheating Preachers in the Black Church:
What do we do about gays in the church? Are there other pastors who spend their time engaging in questionable sexual activity? Dr. Boyce discusses these issues on MSNBC.
Please click here to watch.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Author Jamilah B. Creekmur – Part 2
by Dr. Boyce Watkins, Syracuse University – Scholarship in Action
This is the second part of my interview with author Jamilah B. Creekmur. I enjoyed speaking with Jamilah and I found her book, "Raised by the Mistress," to be a compelling layout of what it might be like to be the child of "the other woman." I recommend taking a look at Jamilah's book and watching the interview. I think you'll enjoy what you see.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Would You Settle for Half a Man?
by Dr. Boyce Watkins, Syracuse University – Scholarship in Action
I have a theory that I've wondered would hold up to empirical scrutiny. My theory is that there are quite a few women who might be willing to settle for part of a good man rather than having 100% of a mediocre man. For example, men like Tiger Woods might have more girlfriends than most of us can count, and some would wonder if any of those women expect him to be committed to just one person. Not to say that I condone one lifestyle over another, but we all know how things go down in the real world.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
MaLinda Sapp, Marvin Sapp’s Wife, Dies of Colon Cancer
by Dr. Boyce Watkins, Syracuse University
Prominent Gospel Music artist Marvin Sapp recently lost his wife to colon cancer. Marvin's wife, MaLinda, had been married to him for 15 years and they have three children together. MaLinda was an Administrative Pastor at the church they ran together, the Lighthouse Full Life Center, in Grand Rapids, MI.
Before she died, MaLinda was a college professor and licensed professional counselor. The following statement was issued by 92.1 Praise Houston about the death of MaLinda Sapp:
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Lawrence Fishburne’s daughter explains her reason for going into PORN
"I've watched how successful Kim Kardashian became and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape by Vivid," Fishburne said in the press release." I'm hoping the same magic will work for me. I'm impatient about getting well-known and having more opportunities and this seemed like a great way to get started on it."
Below Madam Prezident writes a letter to Montana
Dear Montana,
I am sorry that America has failed you. As a young African American woman I believe I owe you an apology on America’s behalf. I know you are chasing a dream of stardom; however I don’t think your body should be the sacrifice. Paparazzi that once captured the moments of father and daughter walking side by side with a caption of innocence is ruined by the Tabloids and its national conversation of your imprudent career choice. I’m sorry America has failed you.
I’m sorry your father accomplishments don’t impress you as they do the entire world. I’m sorry Brian Pumper's steel muscles will leave your future children questioning mommy’s integrity. If you are an aspiring actress, I can assure you a former sex slave will never receive an OSCAR for her role in ignominy pornography. I’m sorry America has failed you.
I’m sorry your ancestors struggle doesn’t inspire you the same as Vivid. I am sorry that Whoopi Goldberg, Halle Berry, Kerry Washington, Mo’Nique, Angela Bassett, Raven Symone, Thandi Newton, Gabriel Union, Queen Latifah, Sanaa Lathan, Pam Grier, Nia Long, Anika Noni-Rose, Cicely Tyson, Viola Davis, Tamara Dobson, Yaya DaCosta, Susan Dilian, Phylicia Rashad, Debbie Allen, Maya Angelou, Eartha Kitt, and many many more African American Super Stars couldn’t influence you the same as Kim Kardashian.
America commercializes and encourages sex and classifies it as sexy, but the impractical acts of sex have millions of black women dying with AIDS leaving motherless children behind. I’m sorry that America has failed you, and as beautiful as you are; I’m sorry you don’t recognize your worth.
Meaningful Blessings,
Madam Prezident
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Life at 80
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Steve Urkel, I mean Jaleel White Accused of Beating His Girlfriend?
From YourBlackWorld.com
Jaleel White, better known as Steve Urkel from the television show, "Family Matters," was accused of beating his girlfriend, Bridget Hardy, who is also the mother of his 10-month old child. She reported the abuse to the LAPD, stating that White punched her in her breast implants while they were on the highway driving in their car.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Results of AOL Black Voices Poll about Black Women and Dating
This poll was taken in response to the article Does the black church keep women single and lonely? - The majority of black women believe that they should open their dating horizons in general and that in spite of what Deborah Cooper has to say, the church can be a good place to find a Godly man. What do you think?
Black women need to open their dating horizons in general
50%
266
No -- It's a woman's right to seek a Godly man
22%
118
Yes -- It's a bad place to meet men
10%
51
No Comment / Not Sure
9%
49
Either way, I find her views judgemental
9%
47
Monday, June 14, 2010
Should Black Women Keep a List for Dating Choices?
A black woman put a list of her dating requirements on my facebook page as part of a broader conversation some were having about black relationships and why they don't work. I wonder what others think about this list and whether or not it's healthy to have a list like this in your quest for true love. Here is the list:
I don't date men in jail
I don't date men with children
I don't date men who don't have a job
I don't date men who are not career oriented
I don't date men who have a criminal history (it's called a background check and I highly recommend it)
I don't date men who carry guns
I don't date men who abuse drugs
I don't date men who are verbally or physically abusive to anything OR anyone
I don't date men who borrow money
I don't date men who reject education
I don't date men who can't cook and clean
I don't date men who can't cry
I don't date men who disrespect their mothers
I don't date men who worship their mothers
I don't date men who are still in love with his ex
I don't date men who are married
I don't date men who are separated
I don't date men who are legally separated
I don't date men in open relationships
I don't date men who have girlfriends
I don't date men who have a girlfriend
I don't date men who brag about taking care of their kids
I don't date men who don't take care of their kids
I don't date men who don't know how to get rid of an ex-girlfriend
I don't date men who are disrespectful to their ex-wives
I don't date men who refuse to take an AIDS test
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Diddy's Son Gets a $350,000 Car - Is that too much?
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Brian McKnight Gets the Baby Daddy Blues
by Dr. Boyce Watkins
It appears that the singer Brian McKnight is now a not-so-proud father. Well, the child isn't exactly a baby either. According to TMZ, the child is a 14-year old that Brian hasn't exactly claimed to be his own. Well, whether McKnight chooses to address the child as his own or not, a Florida judge has ruled that Brian must now take financial responsibility for the child. The amount owed? $341,640, which comes out to just over $2,000 per month for every month since the child was born.
The mother of the child, Miriam Lee, took Brian McKnight to court to establish paternity last year. Why she waited so long to do so is not clear. From this point on, the singer is responsible for making child support payments in the amount of $11,388 per month. The ruling was a default judgment, since McKnight was not in court and didn't respond to the woman's claim of paternity.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Hip Hop Needs to grow up - Respect Black Women Please
The age of the Hoochie Mama is over
by Dr. Boyce Watkins | TheLoop21 in Culture & Society
It's time for hip hop, and its audience, to grow up.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Dr. Boyce Watkins: Talib Kweli Weighs in on Slim Thug's Remarks about Black Women
by Dr. Boyce Watkins, Syracuse University
A note to Slim Thug: You probably just need to be quiet for a while. It's not to say thatyour comments about black women were outside your rights to freedom of speech, but if you keep dissing the audience most likely to go out and buy your records, you are probably going to end up in the same poorhouse as MC Hammer. Don't get me wrong, black men love your music (at least I do), but the bottom line is that brothers don't buy albums, books, or anything else put up for sale. But when black women turn on you, it's a wrap son. Settle down and go back to the studio; it's good for your financial health.
I wrote yesterday about the comments made by Slim Thug regarding how he perceives white women to be a better dating choice than black women, as well asColumbia Professor Marc Lamont Hill'sresponse to Slim Thug's words. It seems that the debate has taken a life of it's own, now that rapper Talib Kweli has joined the conversation. In a recent essay he wrote for Vibe Magazine, Talib Kweli was ever the diplomatic artist, as he showed respect for Slim Thug, but also expressed his own concerns for his colleague's remarks about black women:
To read more about the debate regarding Slim Thug’s comments about black women, click here.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
"Friend Of Failure"
DAMN ALICIA KEYS
TE AMO
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
LeBron James' Mother and Her Son's Teammate: Overkill?
Friday, May 21, 2010
"The Game Iz Back"
Monday, April 26, 2010
Lola Adesioye: Are Black Women Victims of a Bad Dating Situation?
by Lola Adesioye, Huffington Post
Over the past few months, black women and their relationships - or should I say, lack thereof - have been getting a lot of attention. The Washington Posthas done a couple of features on it. Then ABC'sNightline did a show asking why there are so many single black women.
All of a sudden the mainstream media is taking a keen interest in our love lives. We are being told that there is a 'crisis' amongst black women, particularly educated professional women, who are apparently unable to find a 'decent' black man.
Last night, ABC continued once again, with the airing of "Why Can't a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?," a taped discussion featuring Hill Harper, Steve Harvey, The View's Sherri Shepherd and others.
There's no doubt that it's a topic that sparks heated debates and discussions amongst black women and men. It has for years. But is it really that bad? Or is the media - now that it has found a hot topic - exploiting this issue for all that it's worth? I'm an educated black woman and I personally have no problem with meeting eligible, educated, great black men. Whether or not I choose to date them is another thing, but they are out there.
I am somewhat perturbed by the slew of stories on this topic. They are negative, unhelpful and only serve to perpetuate negative ideas about black men and women which often become self-fullfiling. They basically say 'oh, poor black women. They try so hard yet can't find a decent man ... Boo hoo, black women are victims. Ooh, it's all the fault of those pathetic black men. You know, they have no education or are locked up in jail.' Sorry, but I do not subscribe to that view.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Syracuse Professor Boyce Watkins speaks on ABC News about Love and Money
by Dr. Boyce Watkins, Finance Professor - Syracuse University
As a Finance Professor, I find it incredibly ironic that many people get married without talking about money. They talk about every kind of compatibility from emotional, to spiritual, sexual, and professional, but they seldom take the time necessary to ensure that they can tolerate the idea of sharing their financial life with a person who may not be on the same page. This problem is compounded in black relationships, where many women describe economic hurdles as one of the reasons that black women have trouble finding the right mate.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Dr. Boyce Watkins on ABC News: Love, Money and Divorce
Friday, April 9, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Your Black World: Anita Baker Almost Goes to Jail
Singing great Anita Baker barely missed going to jail Friday in a dispute with her ex-husband over music royalties. The 52-year old Baker found herself in a heated battle with Walter Bridgforth, her ex-husband, over the details of their divorce settlement.
"I'm so happy. ... I have never been in such a position before," Baker said in the hallway outside court. "And we don't intend to ever be in such a position ever again. I just wanna go home,and I'm happy to go home. ... As horrific as it could have been, it was lovely to feel supported, though, on the other end."
Baker was faced with a deadline Wednesday to sign documents that empower court-appointed music contract expert Howard Hertz to obtain information from record labels regarding how much Baker owed her ex-husband. The deadline passed and Baker still had not signed. This led to the Wayne County Chief Family Court Judge Lita Masini Popke ordering Baker to either show up in court on Friday or go to jail.
News: Anita Baker Barely Misses Going to Jail
Singing great Anita Baker barely missed going to jail Friday in a dispute with her ex-husband over music royalties. The 52-year old Baker found herself in a heated battle with Walter Bridgforth, her ex-husband, over the details of their divorce settlement.
"I'm so happy. ... I have never been in such a position before," Baker said in the hallway outside court. "And we don't intend to ever be in such a position ever again. I just wanna go home,and I'm happy to go home. ... As horrific as it could have been, it was lovely to feel supported, though, on the other end."
Baker was faced with a deadline Wednesday to sign documents that empower court-appointed music contract expert Howard Hertz to obtain information from record labels regarding how much Baker owed her ex-husband. The deadline passed and Baker still had not signed. This led to the Wayne County Chief Family Court Judge Lita Masini Popke ordering Baker to either show up in court on Friday or go to jail.